Planning Contributes to Family Unity
Summary: This article will provide some points to ponder about living wills, wills, power of attorney, funeral planning, and related issues.
According to AARP over the next 10 years boomers will inherit a trillion dollars. Rifts that occur as a result of settling estates can permanently shatter a family at a time when they most need one another’s support. Sibling rivalry can change to a battle royale when tested by the challenge of settling a poor planned estate.
It is a given, that parents would long for unity among their children. There isn’t a parent anywhere that would want to think that the settling of their estate would permanently destroy relationships between their grown children. Nor do we want our loved ones to be put in a situation where they need to make decisions on our behalf at a time that is as emotional as when we are on our death bed or have been taken suddenly.
While a well constructed and thought out will is a crucial, there are a variety of other documents we can do that can make it easier for executors and family. While kits and worksheets are not a substitute for a discussion with an estate lawyer, there are some very helpful solutions that can make the whole process easier.
At the best of times planning a funeral can be daunting for a grieving family. Funeral Planning worksheets can make it easier for family to plan the funeral when the time comes.
There was no mistake what John Triplett wanted. John and his wife owned the first Fred Astaire School of Dance in Chicago. Although John was in his eighties and his wife in her late seventies, they taught two ballroom dancing class every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday.
We arrived at dance class one night to see a sign posted, that due to a family emergency classes were cancelled. John had a heart attack and died shortly after. Dancing had been their life.
After John’s passing the family had a small private funeral. A month or two later the family held a Memorial Dance and invited all of John’s students. I was there, along with 350 other mature adults. We danced the night away, occasionally breaking for former students to tell fond memories of John. That was ten years ago, and I still talk about it. It was a wonderful tribute to his life.
Funeral arrangements like the Triplett’s did do not come about spontaneously. They are the result of planning and family discussions. Many adult children don’t even know if their parents want to be cremated or buried.
Do you want to save your family from agonizing or emotional decisions surrounding your medical care, funeral, and estate? It can be easier if you have the right tools. For example funeral planning and personal information worksheets are available from FuneralTools.com.
We have discussed funeral planning, but often there are a number of considerations relating to days, months or years preceding our final departure. Do you want a say in major medical decisions, should you be unable to self-advocate? What if you develop Alzheimer’s? Unfortunately, may seniors reach a point where they cannot make responsible financial and medical decisions. This is where a living will and power of attorney comes in.
Online planning for Living Wills and Power of Attorney
Companies such as LegacyWriter.com offers a number of kits for Living Wills and Power of Attorney. Do you want to take the burden of making those decisions away from your loved ones?
Many people have a poor understanding of a lawyers role. It is easy to assume they will give you all the right advice. That is unrealistic unless you provide them with the appropriate facts and details. It seemed like a grand idea when Paul and Mattie decided to ensure the family cottage remain in the family for the equal enjoyment of their children and grandchildren. What they didn’t realize was that the capital gains tax due on the transfer of the property would be difficult for the children. Estate lawyers see this all too often.
At what point is “I have a will” worse than having no will? Outdated wills or incomplete wills can be, as bad or worse, than no will.
Tom and Alice forgot to update their will, after giving their youngest daughter $50,000 for a down payment on a home. They were in the habit of updating their legal matters once every five years. Their children may forever question if it was partiality or an outdated will.
Grandma Lucinda’s antiques didn’t seem like much to Mary. After all, they were just part of her mother’s home when she was a child. The old things that Mary wished her mother would get rid of but when her mother did pass on, Mary decided to keep a few of the oldest things. They were now recognized as collectible. However, what Mary had not thought of was that these small possessions had escalated in value over the past twenty years and they didn’t seem worth mentioning in the will. Little did she know that her kids were going to wage a war for their fair share of those treasures.
Some people think it is negative to think of dying suddenly or prematurely. They think it will generate negative energy or become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The fact is, there is a business aspect to the end-of-life and just as it is important to maintain your bank records each month and taxes each year there are undeniable reasons to maintain accurate and up-to-date documents and records to supplement legal documents drawn up by an Estate Lawyer.
Completing a comprehensive set of worksheets addressing funeral planning, financial and medical planning and personal information can make it much easier for family and loved ones. Well designed worksheets, such as offered by FuneralTools.com, help organize the process and make it easier to ensure important details are not overlooked.
Peace of mind comes from knowing that no matter when the time comes that we have done what we could to ensure that family and loved ones will not be left with a mess. Planning is an act that shows how much we care about our family unity.
