Quick Humorous Cover Letter Bloopers!
Below are a list of funny lines taken from actual cover letters. Not so funny if you are the one really wanting the job! Writing a good cover letter is your ticket to a job interview. Here is a list of “what not to say“.
Humorous Cover letter blunders:
“What kind of skills would you like me to pretend I have? Illustrator, Powerpoint, Excel, Mac and PC operating systems? Excel, Word, Motion, Photoshop, Adobe Pro? I know almost every program out there and if I don’t I can learn it in two weeks. You name it, I’ll know it in two weeks. Or by my start-date, whichever comes first.”
Arrogant, by any chance?
“Please disregard the inaccuracies in the attached resume — it is out of date.”
“You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate!”
“Below are the top 10 reasons to hire me.”
“I am superior to anyone else you could hire.”
“I vow to fulfill the goals of the company as long as I live.”
“You are privileged to receive my resume.”
What part of the process do you understand? Just plain no excuse!
“My salary requirement is $34 per year.”
“I’ll need $30K to start, full medical, three weeks vacation, stock options and ideally a European sedan.”
Okay what’s the point!
“I’m submitting my resume to spite my lack of C++ and HTML experience.”
“Although I am seeking an counseling job, the fact that I have no actual experience in counseling may seem discouraging. However…”
“I apologize for my total lack of appropriate experience and worry that it may concern those considering me for employment.”
“I’ll starve without a job but don’t feel you have to give me one.”
